Sunday, February 19, 2012

Fighting Well

With marriage comes disagreements and with disagreements come fights. Every marriage has their fights, even mine. But what does it mean to fight well?  

Many times when I would get upset with Derrick for something I would start assuming and making accusations about why he did what he did. This obviously is NOT a good I am learning :)  All this does is make the other person get defensive and not really hear what you are wanting them to hear..the real reason you are upset. 

Fighting Well:

1. Lay out how you are feeling and why you feel that way. "It really hurts my feelings when I have spent time cleaning the house and you leave your clothes laying in the floor."  

2. Stick to the topic and don't overgeneralize. So many times during fights we say things like "you always.."  or "you never.."  It's unfair to say that and there's no point in bringing up the past. 

3. Be sure and give your spouse time to explain himself. Maybe he doesn't leave his clothes on the floor just because, but he really did mean to pick them up and just got sidetracked and forgot. 

4. Finally, be willing to forgive:  Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 

Are you fighting well with your husband?  If not, what can you do to start making your fights more meaningful for both of you?


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